Hey there. All this talk about marriage equality has inspired me to look within and ask myself my true feelings about what marriage and partnerships should entail. In order to fully comprehend what is best for me, I must be honest about what my own needs are and how best they would be served as a husband and father.
First I would like to address some of the rhetoric coming from those who oppose gay marriage.
To say that gay marriage will lead to the destruction of "traditional" marriage is a huge fucking farce.
Any Christian, Muslim, or Jew on the planet will willingly admit they believe they are direct descendants of Abraham. Abraham was a Hebrew. He was the great-grandfather of Judah, whose descendants became known as the Jews. He was also the father of Ishmael, who most Arabs believe they are in line with.
This dude had AT LEAST two wives... plus concubines many times chosen by his head wife Sarah. It could be said that the Jews and later Christians, by reorganizing the construct of marriage to mean one man and one woman, are themselves responsible for destroying the traditional marriage template. Who are they to say having multiple wives (or husbands, which I will get to in a bit) is wrong... especially if the family structure of the proprietor of their races was Polygamy????
"Pretty soon people will want to marry their dogs and cats!!"
FUCK YOU!!
That is impossible. A marriage needs consent. How in hell are you going to prove consent with a dog or cat... or car or table, as some idiots like to REALLY embellish their moronic viewpoints by suggesting gay couples marrying is akin to a human wedded to furniture. You can't.
"The natural parental format is a man and woman and children need a father and a mother."
This one is tougher... put two lesbians in one room, two gay men in another room, and a man and a woman in yet another, and let the first pair that conceives out. I promise there will be two couples stuck in a room for life. HOWEVER... just because gay couples can't conceive does not mean they do not have the quality skills needed to rear loving caring children. And although I agree that a child NEEDS both male and female influence throughout his/her life... there is no reason this nurturing from both sexes can not be made available with uncles, aunts, friends, grand parents and every other frikin person they will ever meet.
So... I am all for gay marriage and gay parents. But i am for it for reasons I have yet to hear anyone else express.
My ideal relationship would be a poly amorous one. Me. A woman. And another woman. The three of us loving each other, supporting each other, working for each other, and raising our children together.
Now within my ideal relationship it would also be necessary for the two women to be bisexual. There is nothing like three people (or more) enjoying their sexuality together. If you don't believe me try it. The trust, honesty and pleasure level goes through the roof. And we all know that three is the strongest base.
For those of you wondering... I am absolutely all for a woman finding two men to be with as well.
I have yet to meet a woman who has experienced two men at the same time who did not feel like a Godess. And more women than most women reading this will believe have told me that when they watch porn very often it is male on male.
Now that the sexuality is out of the way...
Imagine our marriage. All of us work. Perhaps we have a nice two bedroom. Perhaps we have a house. We have just cut the rent or mortgage into thirds. (of course 4 people can marry too... financially that is even better) We want children. One of my wives is not ready yet... but the other is. So we have a baby. Suddenly this beautiful child has three loving parents. At what time of day is one of his/her parents not available? Suppose the wife who bore the first child now finds an excellent career opportunity. There are still two other parents sharing the load. And maybe the other wife will now wish to be a mom...(if for any other reason than her wife just had a baby and now she is over the moon with the idea herself).
Imagine I marry a beautiful German woman... and a gorgeous Latino. Or a Swede and an Ethiopian. Or a Native American and a girl from podunk Iowa. These children will be raised in a tremendously culturally diverse home with different foods, languages, music, dance, and LOVE!!
Imagine an argument between two of the spouses. There is always a third perspective, usually objective, to help temper the squabble and prevent it from taking over the relationship.
College savings, car payments, bills, pleasure money for vacations... not to mention three sets of grandparents spoiling the heck out of the kids.
I am not saying I am unable to love one woman in a marriage for life. But i am certainly more inclined to love two. And I believe the attention level of all three in the relationship would be heightened because of the attention they themselves receive within the marriage. I want for gay marriage. I NEED for gay marriage... not just because I care about my gay friends and want them to obtain all the freedoms straight couples have... but because for me to be allowed to truly have the companionship I want, we must first jump this hurdle.
"Traditional" marriage has brought us a racist, bigoted, close minded culture. It is time to go back to our roots. Let's change our rigid notion of love and partnerships and give everyone the opportunity to care and be cared for the way they need it.
And to my wives... I hope to meet you soon!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Something For the Gals......
Hey all..... it's been a while.
I have a gripe...... and I think I have found a way to illustrate it.
There has been a lot of talk about equality and rights for women. I see posts daily concerning birth control, abortion, health care, and maternity issues. Almost 100% of these posts I am behind....... what irks me is the projection of the present onto the past in regards to men and family..... and the way modern women perceive the reality that women faced in the past.
Online I often see ladies alluding to the oppression women have faced in the home "all throughout history". I think this is bull shit.
Ladies I would like you to take a moment and ask yourselves a few questions.
How old are you?
Do you want children?
How old are you?
If you answered questions 1 and 3 with any number 21 and older, and the answer to the 2nd question was yes, then you better get started. Why? Because "all throughout history" the life expectancy was anywhere from 25 to 40.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy
Look in the mirror..... and ask yourself ......if you knew that you would die at 40..... would you have kids already??? I think many of you would whisper "yes"..... (but not too loud because you don't want your man to get excited about having the family he has always yearned for).
At least one of your children will die before the age of 2. You will most likely lose more than one pregnancy. There is a strong possibility you may even pass on during childbirth. What is a washing machine? What is a dryer? What is a microwave? What is a vacuum cleaner? What is a dishwasher? Can we afford a second car??? (given you have even one..... and before autos it was horses.... can we afford another horse?) What is a television? How many miles to the nearest school? What is a telephone? I wonder if my husband gets a raise will I be able to afford a nice dress.... because my "nice" dress is 10 years old and....... worn.
Do you understand where I am headed????
Anyone that is a friend of mine..... their ancestors were poor. My father was the first person in his family's history to go to college. I am pretty sure education was not the priority of most parents...... I imagine providing a son with a trade and a daughter with the know how to care for children was paramount to further schooling.
Now there is the pill. And medicine has extended life expectancy from around 30 in the early 20th century, to almost 80 years old. That's a huge fucking difference.
You were NOT trapped in the home by men. We did NOT keep you barefoot and pregnant. We were NOT out buying nice shit and leaving you in rags. We were out busting our broke asses to pay for whatever food we could afford.... and hoping the rent would not be raised again. You were at home taking care of the children..... because somebody had to.
If it were not for advancement in medicine..... and ONLY medicine..... things would be the same today. And you would not know the difference. Children would be raised to have families.... men to work and women to nurture..... because there is not much time.... if you wait you will be dead before your youngest is ten.
What we have seen is the fastest social rise of any human demographic in world history. Women are running shit all over the place..... making millions.... working to better their lives.... for themselves... and their children as well. I think it is wonderful...... and right. But to pretend you used to have the time for these things.... (that up until the end of the Great Depression would have been seen as luxury)...is borderline idiocy.... and near arrogance. I am with you in the fight to sustain equality across the board..... for anything that does not diminish the chances for another human being..... but keep in mind the last thing on a mother's mind was the iphone 4 or that sweet looking Coach bag. Nor was a father focused on his round of golf or shiny new Porsche. They were raising children ...... cause that's how we roll!!!!
I have a gripe...... and I think I have found a way to illustrate it.
There has been a lot of talk about equality and rights for women. I see posts daily concerning birth control, abortion, health care, and maternity issues. Almost 100% of these posts I am behind....... what irks me is the projection of the present onto the past in regards to men and family..... and the way modern women perceive the reality that women faced in the past.
Online I often see ladies alluding to the oppression women have faced in the home "all throughout history". I think this is bull shit.
Ladies I would like you to take a moment and ask yourselves a few questions.
How old are you?
Do you want children?
How old are you?
If you answered questions 1 and 3 with any number 21 and older, and the answer to the 2nd question was yes, then you better get started. Why? Because "all throughout history" the life expectancy was anywhere from 25 to 40.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy
Look in the mirror..... and ask yourself ......if you knew that you would die at 40..... would you have kids already??? I think many of you would whisper "yes"..... (but not too loud because you don't want your man to get excited about having the family he has always yearned for).
At least one of your children will die before the age of 2. You will most likely lose more than one pregnancy. There is a strong possibility you may even pass on during childbirth. What is a washing machine? What is a dryer? What is a microwave? What is a vacuum cleaner? What is a dishwasher? Can we afford a second car??? (given you have even one..... and before autos it was horses.... can we afford another horse?) What is a television? How many miles to the nearest school? What is a telephone? I wonder if my husband gets a raise will I be able to afford a nice dress.... because my "nice" dress is 10 years old and....... worn.
Do you understand where I am headed????
Anyone that is a friend of mine..... their ancestors were poor. My father was the first person in his family's history to go to college. I am pretty sure education was not the priority of most parents...... I imagine providing a son with a trade and a daughter with the know how to care for children was paramount to further schooling.
Now there is the pill. And medicine has extended life expectancy from around 30 in the early 20th century, to almost 80 years old. That's a huge fucking difference.
You were NOT trapped in the home by men. We did NOT keep you barefoot and pregnant. We were NOT out buying nice shit and leaving you in rags. We were out busting our broke asses to pay for whatever food we could afford.... and hoping the rent would not be raised again. You were at home taking care of the children..... because somebody had to.
If it were not for advancement in medicine..... and ONLY medicine..... things would be the same today. And you would not know the difference. Children would be raised to have families.... men to work and women to nurture..... because there is not much time.... if you wait you will be dead before your youngest is ten.
What we have seen is the fastest social rise of any human demographic in world history. Women are running shit all over the place..... making millions.... working to better their lives.... for themselves... and their children as well. I think it is wonderful...... and right. But to pretend you used to have the time for these things.... (that up until the end of the Great Depression would have been seen as luxury)...is borderline idiocy.... and near arrogance. I am with you in the fight to sustain equality across the board..... for anything that does not diminish the chances for another human being..... but keep in mind the last thing on a mother's mind was the iphone 4 or that sweet looking Coach bag. Nor was a father focused on his round of golf or shiny new Porsche. They were raising children ...... cause that's how we roll!!!!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Great Work!
So I worked a full day in the vineyard again. This week we are going to be very busy. We had to dig holes, set the rootstock, cover the setting, water them and then fill in the holes. We did about 200 there are 1500 total to be planted.
This is great work. Being out in the vineyard all day is as relaxing as anything I have ever done. The sun sits on your shoulder and breezes dont let it get too hot. Spring is fresh and everywhere you turn there are the seasons colors. Little rabbits darting about in the hedges and sheep in the next farm over voicing their disapproval at anything and everything. (actually the sheep are probably happy as pigs in shit but have you ever heard sheep?)
A horse trail winds its way past our plot, so frequently we get the pleasure of watching a fine cantor. (only English riding here)
I have a thing for the depression era. The music and clothing and attitude as well as the work ethic. Being in the dirt I can slip into a daydream and feel as though I am in the Midwest, tending my land and hoping for the best turnout possible.When the day is done there is a sense of accomplishment. You can look at the vineyard as a whole and have tangible proof of your sweat and toil. The only thing I can see to be different from my mental montage of the Thirties is the lack of stress around being flat broke.
I have worked lots of jobs. Some of my favorites have been bike messenger, warehouse floor man, and racetrack bugler. All three of these offer a solitude most work denies you. That is my favorite aspect of working the land. I can clear my head and discuss, with myself,.... sans mental diarrhea..... any subject matter I would like to know my opinion on. If i need company, I can grab my rake and hoe and cross over the piece of fertile ground to a companion toiling over the same responsibilities I am.
Here is something wonderful about Germany. The first priority is community, companionship, and conversation. Work revolves around those social habits not the other way around. I have more than once been accused of being standoffish because I have a habit of putting my head down and getting the job done. Of course I do.... I am American.... and a New Yorker to boot!! We run around like headless chickens, begging for coin instead of seed. Not here. No way. Speak, relax, stretch, laugh, and have a beer, because the work will get done. It has for years and it will continue to.....and we dont mind doing it, because we do it together.
This is great work. Being out in the vineyard all day is as relaxing as anything I have ever done. The sun sits on your shoulder and breezes dont let it get too hot. Spring is fresh and everywhere you turn there are the seasons colors. Little rabbits darting about in the hedges and sheep in the next farm over voicing their disapproval at anything and everything. (actually the sheep are probably happy as pigs in shit but have you ever heard sheep?)
A horse trail winds its way past our plot, so frequently we get the pleasure of watching a fine cantor. (only English riding here)
I have a thing for the depression era. The music and clothing and attitude as well as the work ethic. Being in the dirt I can slip into a daydream and feel as though I am in the Midwest, tending my land and hoping for the best turnout possible.When the day is done there is a sense of accomplishment. You can look at the vineyard as a whole and have tangible proof of your sweat and toil. The only thing I can see to be different from my mental montage of the Thirties is the lack of stress around being flat broke.
I have worked lots of jobs. Some of my favorites have been bike messenger, warehouse floor man, and racetrack bugler. All three of these offer a solitude most work denies you. That is my favorite aspect of working the land. I can clear my head and discuss, with myself,.... sans mental diarrhea..... any subject matter I would like to know my opinion on. If i need company, I can grab my rake and hoe and cross over the piece of fertile ground to a companion toiling over the same responsibilities I am.
Here is something wonderful about Germany. The first priority is community, companionship, and conversation. Work revolves around those social habits not the other way around. I have more than once been accused of being standoffish because I have a habit of putting my head down and getting the job done. Of course I do.... I am American.... and a New Yorker to boot!! We run around like headless chickens, begging for coin instead of seed. Not here. No way. Speak, relax, stretch, laugh, and have a beer, because the work will get done. It has for years and it will continue to.....and we dont mind doing it, because we do it together.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Some Stuff.
Ive been over here in Europe now since Feb 14th. There are good days and bad days. This is normal. Im guessing all of us tend to ride the rails. I have no qualms about facing a bad mood or down day. I think I would be bored out of my skull if my sanity wasnt tested from time to time.
In this expedition..... which has no definitive finish..... I am learning my true priorities.
What are things I want for myself? What are the goals I have for my life? Are they reachable? How have they been diluted in the first place? What habits have I practiced that dont help me attain these desires?
I have a list.
By the time I am 45 i would like to speak German and French or Italian (or all three) with ease.
I would love a double high C. Not for flash mind you, only so my needed upper register is super strong.... and the last note in Carnival of Venice is an F.
I would like to play Guardian Angel at a strong clip and be able to fly over both the rhythm changes and gypsy jazz backings with natural physical ability and not struggle mentally through the tougher charts.
I would like to finish my sommelier certification.
I would like to re enter my Kung Fu studies and keep my mind and body solid and poised.
Perhaps a play or two once in a while.
I would like to love and be loved.
I think all of these things are possible. And whats funny is after years of busting my ass to make a very limited amount of money in a very expensive city I have come to this conclusion.
I dont need it!!!
I have no debt. (aside from some Con Ed residuals)
I am not in for a home. Not in for a car. Not in for higher education. Not in for credit cards. No business loans or personal loans on my back. I have the freedom to practice and mature in music theatre wine food and body.
There is only one thing I must give up. (at least it looks that way)
A family.
There is an old saying. "No money no honey."
Now as much as I would like to believe I will find a woman who is down to grassroots it and travel, learning about the world its languages and people I think Id be delusional.
And ladies dont get your panties in a bunch because it isnt your fault.
In order to raise a family we must be plugged into the system. We need a living space and transportation and school clothes and food and social groups and music lessons and sporting equipment-
We need all of our time doing the "one two three", which is my moms way of describing her main thought process during the raising of her children. Everywhere she went she was counting her kids..... all the time. Every day.
We need to find a way to be with our children at that very early age when their parents are so much more vital then they ever will be again.
How many kids will we have? Two? Three?
How much food is that? How many bedrooms in the house?
Are you going to stay at home when they are babies like they need and want you to?
Will we live near one of our families? Which one?
Breakfast lunch dinner day and night CHILDREN!
Now here is the thing...... if all that was required to love our kids and give them peace and love was the above then Im ready.... lets start right fucking now... (or fucking right now would be more appropriate)
But here is the catch....... it isnt. It all costs money. It is all getting more expensive. And money is debt.
We both have to work. We have to give them whatever they need to be able to someday compete in an even more expensive back breaking economy than the one we raised them in. Which means better schools better clothes better car better house better better better. Cause you got to fake it till you make it. Gotta stay competitive. Gotta show you belong.......
Im sorry. I dont belong. I dont belong to the get aheads. I dont belong to the leave behinds. I dont belong to the win at all costs.
I dont belong to the banks the institutions the insurance companies.
I cant possibly raise my children to experience my list of goals and dreams above because I cant even do them myself.........
And its all our fault!!!!!
The powers that be have manipulated us with our own biological drives. To have children and family...... and created a world where the rich and powerful get even stronger because our tendency as humans is to do whats best for our kids. To do whats right for our family. To provide. And you will pay...... because there is no other way.
Fuck Debt!!!
In this expedition..... which has no definitive finish..... I am learning my true priorities.
What are things I want for myself? What are the goals I have for my life? Are they reachable? How have they been diluted in the first place? What habits have I practiced that dont help me attain these desires?
I have a list.
By the time I am 45 i would like to speak German and French or Italian (or all three) with ease.
I would love a double high C. Not for flash mind you, only so my needed upper register is super strong.... and the last note in Carnival of Venice is an F.
I would like to play Guardian Angel at a strong clip and be able to fly over both the rhythm changes and gypsy jazz backings with natural physical ability and not struggle mentally through the tougher charts.
I would like to finish my sommelier certification.
I would like to re enter my Kung Fu studies and keep my mind and body solid and poised.
Perhaps a play or two once in a while.
I would like to love and be loved.
I think all of these things are possible. And whats funny is after years of busting my ass to make a very limited amount of money in a very expensive city I have come to this conclusion.
I dont need it!!!
I have no debt. (aside from some Con Ed residuals)
I am not in for a home. Not in for a car. Not in for higher education. Not in for credit cards. No business loans or personal loans on my back. I have the freedom to practice and mature in music theatre wine food and body.
There is only one thing I must give up. (at least it looks that way)
A family.
There is an old saying. "No money no honey."
Now as much as I would like to believe I will find a woman who is down to grassroots it and travel, learning about the world its languages and people I think Id be delusional.
And ladies dont get your panties in a bunch because it isnt your fault.
In order to raise a family we must be plugged into the system. We need a living space and transportation and school clothes and food and social groups and music lessons and sporting equipment-
We need all of our time doing the "one two three", which is my moms way of describing her main thought process during the raising of her children. Everywhere she went she was counting her kids..... all the time. Every day.
We need to find a way to be with our children at that very early age when their parents are so much more vital then they ever will be again.
How many kids will we have? Two? Three?
How much food is that? How many bedrooms in the house?
Are you going to stay at home when they are babies like they need and want you to?
Will we live near one of our families? Which one?
Breakfast lunch dinner day and night CHILDREN!
Now here is the thing...... if all that was required to love our kids and give them peace and love was the above then Im ready.... lets start right fucking now... (or fucking right now would be more appropriate)
But here is the catch....... it isnt. It all costs money. It is all getting more expensive. And money is debt.
We both have to work. We have to give them whatever they need to be able to someday compete in an even more expensive back breaking economy than the one we raised them in. Which means better schools better clothes better car better house better better better. Cause you got to fake it till you make it. Gotta stay competitive. Gotta show you belong.......
Im sorry. I dont belong. I dont belong to the get aheads. I dont belong to the leave behinds. I dont belong to the win at all costs.
I dont belong to the banks the institutions the insurance companies.
I cant possibly raise my children to experience my list of goals and dreams above because I cant even do them myself.........
And its all our fault!!!!!
The powers that be have manipulated us with our own biological drives. To have children and family...... and created a world where the rich and powerful get even stronger because our tendency as humans is to do whats best for our kids. To do whats right for our family. To provide. And you will pay...... because there is no other way.
Fuck Debt!!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Spring!
Im thinking of hitting Paris next week, By train its about as expensive as a round trip from NYC to Albany on Greyhound. 30 a night in a hostel.... a few days in Paris..... why????
Cause I Can!!!!!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
I Will Drink Your Cup Of Poison!
Christmas is wonderful. It is full of love and family and subtle magic and giving. Christmas is secondary. The birth of a human always is..... at least compared to the life they live. It is in a persons death we get to truly understand their impact. When one leaves us we taste their absence and wish for a return of some sorts...... sometimes never letting go of the affect they had on our lives.
I can tell you straight out i dont need a calendar to prompt me to invoke the memory of my lost family. I dont need a push to revisit a best friends voice or young brothers laugh. I will admit however I often forget about my communication with myself.......
Folks. The rising is not about some paranormal magic meant to instantly change our speed of spiritual evolvement. It is simply a lesson. A riddle if you will. A sentence in the infinite book. A doorway to love.
Death and rebirth. Death and rebirth. Death and rebirth. Is that not what we live daily? Do we not promise every morning to never lie again? Never give ourselves over to needless wants? Never forget the face of our fathers? Our Father? .............
My Mother is the gospel in my life. The soprano of reason. The color in the tone amidst the rhythm of my being.
My Father is the ritual. The incense and robes. The deep bass of the organ and percussive responsibility to self.
It is Maundy Thursday and Black Friday and The resurrection that reach into me and ask me what it is I mean to do with the gifts I have been given by my parents. God. Mother. Father.
The Easter story is in fact about WAKING UP!!!!! Healing our wounds and rising above dark clouds and the wailing of our childhoods and adolescence. Finding our spirit family and moving forward toward light. Keeping what we know to be true close and protecting ourselves from our own dark places.
We do it to ourselves. Every day. All the time. I know I do.
Dont trip fools........ It is the rising that kills the black-------- not the birth!
He Is Risen!!!!!
I can tell you straight out i dont need a calendar to prompt me to invoke the memory of my lost family. I dont need a push to revisit a best friends voice or young brothers laugh. I will admit however I often forget about my communication with myself.......
Folks. The rising is not about some paranormal magic meant to instantly change our speed of spiritual evolvement. It is simply a lesson. A riddle if you will. A sentence in the infinite book. A doorway to love.
Death and rebirth. Death and rebirth. Death and rebirth. Is that not what we live daily? Do we not promise every morning to never lie again? Never give ourselves over to needless wants? Never forget the face of our fathers? Our Father? .............
My Mother is the gospel in my life. The soprano of reason. The color in the tone amidst the rhythm of my being.
My Father is the ritual. The incense and robes. The deep bass of the organ and percussive responsibility to self.
It is Maundy Thursday and Black Friday and The resurrection that reach into me and ask me what it is I mean to do with the gifts I have been given by my parents. God. Mother. Father.
The Easter story is in fact about WAKING UP!!!!! Healing our wounds and rising above dark clouds and the wailing of our childhoods and adolescence. Finding our spirit family and moving forward toward light. Keeping what we know to be true close and protecting ourselves from our own dark places.
We do it to ourselves. Every day. All the time. I know I do.
Dont trip fools........ It is the rising that kills the black-------- not the birth!
He Is Risen!!!!!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Eventful Days!
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